I rush back to Dulcie, who is standing in a puddle of sparkly water and escaped lobster toys.
“What are you doing?” I plead.
“Freeing the snow globes. Wanna help?” There’s a wicked gleam in her eye that scares the crap out of me.
“No, I don’t!”
“Suit yourself.” With the flick of a wing, Dulcie wipes out a whole row and then another, until the dirty linoleum is awash in small plastic mermaids, floating towns, seashells, and tiny white pellets that stick to the floor like fake snow.
-Libba Bray, Going Bovine
You know the story. You’re in Disneyland, Legoland, Marine World…whatever. You need a reminder of the fun times you just had (as if the thousands of pictures you just took weren’t enough). Or maybe your nephew, twice removed, would never forgive you if you didn’t bring back a souvenir. So you stroll into the gift shop (one of many, conveniently located on every corner). You bought a shirt last time. You’d never wear the Mickey Mouse ears in public. You’re keychain is too full.
But wait! Over on the freshly cleaned countertop, you spot it. The sparkly snowflakes catch your eye. The glass half-circle fits perfectly in your palm. A smiling palm tree looks back out at you. It’s the vacation memento you’ve been searching for. And it’s on sale.
But what of the lonely palm tree trapped behind the glass? What of its cries for freedom? Is its only purpose in life to decorate your bookshelves and collect dust? Hell no! All of those palm trees, snowmen, unicorns and famous Disney characters imprisoned behind the snow globe’s glass wall deserve liberty and justice for all!
So what is my mission you might ask?
1) Free the world of all you snow globe hoarders (you know who you are)
2) Document all the random crap we call everyday life
3) And jot down anything else that may come to mind (that should be interesting…)
I hope you’re ready for it.
You know the story. You’re in Disneyland, Legoland, Marine World…whatever. You need a reminder of the fun times you just had (as if the thousands of pictures you just took weren’t enough). Or maybe your nephew, twice removed, would never forgive you if you didn’t bring back a souvenir. So you stroll into the gift shop (one of many, conveniently located on every corner). You bought a shirt last time. You’d never wear the Mickey Mouse ears in public. You’re keychain is too full.
But wait! Over on the freshly cleaned countertop, you spot it. The sparkly snowflakes catch your eye. The glass half-circle fits perfectly in your palm. A smiling palm tree looks back out at you. It’s the vacation memento you’ve been searching for. And it’s on sale.
But what of the lonely palm tree trapped behind the glass? What of its cries for freedom? Is its only purpose in life to decorate your bookshelves and collect dust? Hell no! All of those palm trees, snowmen, unicorns and famous Disney characters imprisoned behind the snow globe’s glass wall deserve liberty and justice for all!
So what is my mission you might ask?
1) Free the world of all you snow globe hoarders (you know who you are)
2) Document all the random crap we call everyday life
3) And jot down anything else that may come to mind (that should be interesting…)
I hope you’re ready for it.
